dreaming of when

I think we were both a bit delusional
past memories kept us going
because as you drew out plans, cast projections and numbers
I gathered doubts, mumured cynicism and hyperbolic hypothesis on how we wouldn’t work out
how could you even, how could we even consider a relationship
face-to-face when
you couldn’t even stand one video call with me?
and how was it possible then, how could we prolong any conversation when
honest to goodness, one-word responses were something of the regular, and I’m not being extreme
how could we leave either of our homes, sacrifice a great big part of ourselves,
or forget of loved ones when
the love between us was already so feeble and weak?
it’s realizations at 4:59 am
that stir me awake
and get me going.
07/16/16

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Author: gerbilette

Write, edit, be. Write, love, poetry.

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