flashed moments

Even now
Your movements haunt me
In flashed moments
I cannot control

His hand encouragingly held out
Laying my head on his shoulder
Unbuttoning articles of clothing that with little resistance fell to the floor
I tossed myself so readily,
Against their bodies,
Lingered mouths
Hands that wandered
Eyes that hankered
Skin contact that imbued
Desire, palpitations, pulsations
And later
Embarrassment, delayed gratification,
The horror, the horror!

Your imprints I allowed
On memory
Do not leave as time
Or showers onward flow.

I have staunched what I can when I could
But relived (relieved?) memories
I kept, quite greedily
When loneliness, or irritation, or my own
lack of control for desire
Ached, heightened and just as rapidly subsided
All in tandem, in tow

I cannot seem to blink
Without thinking where my mouth has been
It haunts me deeper
With each heartbeat
I cannot freely think

Help me examine this line
Of thoughts, of mine
They’ve existed from a young age
Came unbidden, could not control

All sexual,
Seemingly contrived
If a bit fuel was thrown
Into this fire,
Higher the flames would go
Scorching mind and ego;
Control was beyond me,
How could one regain sanity?


Author: gerbilette

Write, edit, be. Write, love, poetry.

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