I want to live so authentically
I want to experience hunger pangs
Feel that sweat streaming
I want to realize that this life isn’t about me.
Constant incessant advertisements on who we’re meant to be.
I am not me.
I am not who you make of me.
Your projections, recitations of “oh you’d make…”
I let things reach me too easily.
I let that guard down because I can foolishly trust
Or I don’t know how to take a grain of salt where I ought to,
I thought I find life worthwhile in serving.
Like, my life has no worth other than in serving others.
That’s where I think,
There’s anything of worth –
But like I’d ask in psychology classes
Isn’t altruism just a selfish way of saying,
Hey I do good, ‘cause it makes me feel good;
How about when it doesn’t?
When it pushes that uncomfortable envelope
When you work past barriers of your own strictures
When you traverse lands, when you traverse grudges
It’s hard, to let go.
It’s hard to reframe your mind and try to re-see
What your viewpoint of life has been, so readily.
To learn to love
In sense of being.