and yet

You don’t know
How I’ve wanted to contact you
How many times I rescinded those
Uninstall feeling.

You should have been
Like others
This perfect release
Parameters set
Guidelines met

Yet, we were both lacking something
We fit, physical needs yet
What was missing?

If it wasn’t attractivness
You made it up in plain speech
If it wasnt the shadiness of meeting
It was in the simplicity and desperation
Of our joining

Yet whenever I left
Did you ever rest have thoughts like mine
This verge on the soul
You gave me all I could want
And we were spent
Did you ever consider we lost much more?

I always kind of wondered what happened, to break your heart.

I wondered, why you seemed distant, closed off –
Or if that was how your walls were built, to enshroud view
You weren’t willing
You had an unwavering,
Pragmatic view
From the way you prepared meals
To soccer cleats and
Terminals that bespoke of what you do.

I don’t know except
I never knew exactly how to address you
Though it was easy.
A name, face, pictures
And listing.
If this was a game, you played it well
Took the going to
And coming from with
Practiced ease

Ultimately we were strangers
How comfortably you played the game
Meet criteria, each point exceeding
Yet somehow still destined to fail.


Author: gerbilette

Write, edit, be. Write, love, poetry.

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