Quick poem/blurb

Untitled

01/12/16

You want to be dependable and yet

Here we are again

Between the noise of

We’ve done this already

Are you appeased yet

 

I’m in between

Feeling sick and

Sneezing myself to bits

It’ll all be all right though

Sometimes you have to let thoughts flow

No matter how absurd they seem

To quench the flow of thoughts

Would be unseemly

 

Unending repetition

In my head

Here’s a form of writer’s block

Where I’ll have to get past it

Trying all these new things

 

Independence

Living

Job hunting

Earning

Volunteer

Wasting time endlessly?

 

Nah, I think not.

 

Learning life’s matters

Day by day

And dot by dot.

 

So it’s only Tuesday but this week has been rather busy already, and I like it! You know those people who like to nearly jam-pack their schedule with events but somehow still take it easy? That’s me. This is a new year, but it’s already starting off strong; I just have to keep up my initiative for this blog. I’m already lagging behind on looking for writing contests so (>.<;) gotta work on that. Eventually. How are you handling your schedule this week? Either way, hope it’s been good so far. Until tomorrow.

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A (Post-)College Kid

“I also realize that success doesn’t have to involve many goals – what matters is the clarity and heart we bring to a task” – Mahatma Ghandi (Ecstasy of Surrender, Judith Orloff)

please save us

these disillusioned

college kids

what my parents told me

(implicitly or explicitly)

i did.

and here’s another

rant of sorts

about life

and growing up for kicks

it’s not quite fun

as some songwriters say

it’s part independence

stepping your foot out into the fray

taking a breath

resetting one’s mind in the beginning

and end of the day

and (to be honest)

a few upstarts, snorts,

chuckles and tears

when things don’t quite go

that way

but it’s not my song

nor Whitman’s “Song of Myself”

on display; it’s just –

little writhing

leaves of grass;

can you hear the thrumming?

a carpet, each blade independent

from the rest?

all together, woven creates

a flowing tide of green

resplendent with sunrise and sunset;

moreover, to each strand

is his or her destiny

who am i

to so set it?

who are you

to proclaim what’s best?

who are we to argue

and lord over

opinions and subsets

of things like pride and ego

arguments that keep us beset?

(against one another)

just thank you

instead, for what is and has been.

A Conversation (Brick and Mortar)

A Conversation

If it’s to ask for a call

If anything at all

It’s about offensive, the defensive, and the defenseless

My opinions and feelings don’t seem to have defenses when it comes to you

Only a wall brought down by brick and mortar, brick and mortar

So when I ask about a call

And you say

That there’s probably someone else I’d rather call

It makes me think of a huge sign

That says: “Stay the fuck away from me”

You’re not wanted here

You never were

Not your presence

Your messages are tolerated

But your actual presence, nah

Can’t take it.

Don’t want it.

But I guess that’s why I lean towards you

Your disappearance techniques make me

Overly curious, like

I can’t seem to get enough
can’t seem to get the message

Wanna relay something more than passivity in my oneword doubledouble repeated answers:

Gotchagotcha.

Because that’s what you inspire in me,

A drawing to

And a pushing away from brick and mortar

Brick by brick you built me up,

But in the cracks the mortar, you seared me

And chilled me to the bone

And soon enough

There was no shield,

No defense

No wall

To withstand the weight of your backhanded No’s.

Apologies

Apologies for the belated post; so instead of one post today it’ll be two. Got caught up yesterday, but I’m here now. Hope you all are having a good weekend.

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Are we allowed to fail

To fall

To fly

 

To consider the height

And the depths

Of not just the sky

But the lows

The furthest lows of humanity

The ugliness and depravity

But more than that

Consider the insanity

If in the wrong side you find the right

 

That sometimes it’s in the upending that we find the light

Ah, but damn.

That’s cheesy.

 

dramatic monologue #1

Here’s a drabble from an antagonist’s mind when I was reading a story off of fictionpress. At least, I think that’s where I based these thoughts. https://www.fictionpress.com/s/1908130/1/Interrogame Unfortunately, the story was removed due to plagiarism, but there’s a partial story up.

I’m not desperate, I swear, I just want another reason, instead of believing like some of you do. I’m closing up; stop staring, nothing’s wrong; it’s just you. You must love watching boring things, aren’t I right? Do you?

Whatever, you’re wasting your time. I’m not artwork on display; I’m not to be observed, why do you keep gazing, AM I THAT INTERESTING TO LOOK AT? What’s wrong, stop saying its me; I’m tired of you lying, being skeptical about things. I’m increasing my sanity, you’re the cause of my problems, although my problems aren’t that strong.

I’m creating a blockade in my mind; this spacious room, so white, I can picture these screams. Then all of these flowers try to kill me, blinding me, blurry ashes of red, all so satisfying, something’s feeding my need. Tempting me; I start to crave for earlier feelings, wanting other things abnormal to my theme.

A new color scheme sets over my mind, all I hear or see is gyrating heat; I only have these inner needs, I want to…There it goes again, I can’t grasp the entity. The ‘not’ to my identity, I, personally think this is a curse, an outside from my in. I love the insecure feelings, I hear the insides of their feeble minds, bent on lust, the modern feeling of humanity. Their being, so weak, they only act on a whim. The perfect prey for my self-induced pain; one won’t notice another missing, answers to the devil himself. Let’s begin the game.

 

All I

Could there be any room in your heart for me?

All I long is to

Belong to you

Say words that no one else could ever speak

All I am is

A servant being

Do I have the courage to kneel at your feet?

All I offer

Is the good

And ugly

May I reside in you and you in me?

Maybe then we’ll

Find a makeshift peace

Poem heavily inspired by the song “Yours Again” on the CD Truest Things by Taylor Leonhardt. That song in particular stuck out to me. I’d like to share the song but it’s not on YouTube, so I’ll settle for sharing her website here: http://www.taylorleonhardt.com/music.html