belated i.

When you have not the patience to listen

When the expansion of fat over skin

Lengthens days like morning into night

And you wait for the response

That’s ever fervent

And you can’t decide what’s wrong from right

Whether to make a move or to stand still

This is why I am at the impasse

All the ever-hovering doubts increase

And I just can’t seem to get a grip

Others face bigger issues

Let me come to terms with me not being

Able to control it

Let me pray for strength when I lack it

Pray for patience when I can’t seem to get a break

Give me perseverance in the midst of temptation

And to hold my tongue when

All I want to do is spew words, thoughtless

Let me be more steady and confident

As your will resides

Let me be selfless not my will

Not that hero

Not the scholar who wants to be seen and respected by others

In silence

In the shadows

In the despicable sense of me

Let it not be noticed

Let my presence barely be

But a shadow here

And fleeting

03/23/16

before the morning

let me acknowledge the panic

the unsurety of life

feeling disheartened by plans

Lord,

others are undergoing much more strife

 

i have nothing to complain of

nada, not i,

yet still i find words to blather

 

my breath

this handwriting

the ink

and my sight

 

social work,

nursing,

teaching abroad

 

if you gave me a compass

a Twister spinner,

if I spun hard enough

would it land on the right spot?

 

01/19/16